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Wellington Hash House Bikers
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Wellington Hash House Bikers
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Ride #... 130
When.... 18 October 1998
Meet at.. Mangatukutuku Valley Car Park
On On.... Jolly Miller Paraparaumu
Hare...... CHOPPER
Scribe.... SNOWPLOUGH
After the late change of venue from the Jolly Miller, brought about by CHOPPER’s failure to master the art of dismounting from a motorbike at high speed while in the presence of trees that were bigger than he was, we gathered, slightly late it must be said, at the stream crossing in Mangatukutuku Valley. Apparently, slightly more had departed from Wellington, but Joy (aka CHAMPAGNE - a self naming I understand, may have to work on that), too impatient to be stuck behind DUDE for the trip up, took on the task of navigating and driving at the same time and had failed to master both. The weather was good but a return of the rain was threatening so decisions as to what items of clothing to carry and what to wear were hurriedly made and then remade. It was going to be muddy anyway, so it was really just a matter of deciding what to get dirty first.
Despite CHOPPER’s injuries he was there, once more on a motorbike, although not the one he crashed. Apparently it was less painful to use a motor than to peddle. After getting instructions that we could follow but the Hare couldn’t, due to the relative difficulty of lifting a motorbike over a gate, we set off down the road to find a track, our first gate and two even later hashers, BOB & GUTTER.
The climb up the hill was not particularly arduous until just before the top where we went off the track and across the fields for a bit. Shortly after this point ROPETOW & PORTALOO opted to take the shorter route back to base and the rest of us went on to the route that was going to be about 20 minutes long but worked out to be about an hour longer. Not a problem, even then the remainder of the pack temporarily split into two and one half failed to show up at the rendezvous point.
A bit of motorbike recognisance found them heading in the wrong direction after missing a turn. Back together again we tried our skills at Mud Peddle Cross along the bottom of a valley and all failed to negotiate the terrain with any level of dignity. We nevertheless survived, somewhat muddy, slightly bruised and with one puncture. After the mud we were back on more or less familiar territory for the return trip. So well were we now going that SILVER FOX even decided he had time for a second puncture.
The ONON was at the original venue, The Jolly Miller, and proceeded more or less as usual. The fines I cannot really remember except for my getting the saddle, which had something to do with falling off in a stream and needing an opportunity to go through the book and compile a list of who has done how many rides.
ONON, SNOWPLOUGH
Ride #... 128
When.... 20 September 1998
Meet at. 47A Tanera Cres, Brooklyn
Ride.... Long Gully
Hare...... ALIEN
Scribe.... AKA
I have the dubious honour or writing this weeks trash for being in the wrong place at the wrong time - more later.
As I can only write the trash, and trash it will be, from what I was told, I accept no responsibility for its accuracy.
"It appeared to be ON ON up to the wind turbine from Gerda's place. The BASH (Bike Hash) then proceeded down into the Karori Reservoir area via the Saddle Track. Boy racers MADAM, SILVER FOX, and QM making it easy work. DINKI DI was at this stage making comments (to herself or course) slow down you fast b.......s, can't you see I'm out for a leisurely stroll.
At the intersection of 5 tracks a decision was made to proceed down into Long Gully to make a ride of it. Points of interest on this track appear to be the William Tell Hut (know a heap of rubble), the long dusty road of Long Gully, The Majesty of Cook Strait with the distant view of the South Island, and of course, the steep cliffs of South Wellington.
At about the time the BASH was reaching Red Rocks, or thereabouts, I arrived at Gerda's place to find LOUD wandering around outside (with a can in hand), WELLSPREAD sitting inside by the table, and your GM ROPETOW head bowed on the table suffering the consequences of the night before (work ball). Like all good kiwi males on this day, I had my priorities, can in hand and sat in the best view in the house to watch the footy, incidently won by Otago 89-10. Three quarters the way through the match the first BASHERS arrived home. NOISEY and GERDA had planned a quick car ride up Ohariu Valley Road. Shortly behind them was DRAFTER, SNOWPLOUGH, and PORTALOO. NOISEY then made the comment he was going to pick up DINKI DI in which I offered but he suggested I should stay and watch the footy, no argument to that.
Load by this time was scorching the snarlers ready for the hungry BASHers to arrive apart from one who decided to skewer himself and was going to spend his time in the hospital emergency unit having a splinter removed.
Fines
WELLSPREAD .. 70th ride
MOWGLI .............. 25th ride
DINK DI ................ 69th ride
SLIVER FOX ...... Fell off bike (hotly displuted by him)
QM ....................... Also fell off (not disputed)
AKA ..................... SADDLE from PORTALOO for being there and "misplacing keys"
On On
Ride #... 127
When.... 12 September 1998
Meet at. Tora - East Coast
Hare...... DUDE
Scribe.... LOOSE CANNON & DOMINIC
Dude booked the Tora Shearer’s Courters for the night of the 12 September. Its on the same section of coast as White Rock and Te White.
Itinerary....
1. Arrive Saturday for an afternoon ride taking the coastline, shipwrecks, and some farm tracks of Tora Station and neighbouring farms.
2. Retire back to the Shearers Courter’s (has beds for 15 but can be made to sleep more) for dinner and possibly a wine tasting (Bluerock Wines).
3. Next for those silly enough and appropriately lit a night ride hopefully taking in some different tracks.
4. Sunday morning head back into Martinborough to take on the wineries by peddle power before on home to Wellington.
Trash....
Saturday 12 September
Other people fell off their bikes, just because I fell into a swamp and was covered from head to toe in the mud and slim doesn't mean I haad to get the saddle - oh well never mind.
You couldn't have picked better weather for the weekend. Sun, sun and more sun. About 16 of us met at Tora Shearers Quarters a very large house containing 11 beds, outside shower and a long drop (much to PORTALOO's delight).
Once everyone had arrived we casually rode around to White Rock where we saw a colony of smelly yet cute Sea Lions, a shipwreck and of course the dreaded swamp which many of us tried to cross unsuccessfully dry. After tormenting sea urchants and being joined by a couple of late comers (QM and SILVER FOX) we headed back home. Once showers were had we scoffed food, food, and more food - and alcohol. Well done DUDE and fellow cookers! A merry night was had and for the really keen, a night ride to the top of the hill. However ALIEN decided after wobbling around the track that a night ride was probably not one of her best ideas and came back with a concerned guide.
LOOSE CANNON
Sunday 13 September
It was an early start especially when PORTALOO wakes up at 7:30am and realises after a shower that it is actually 6:30am! After breakfast most riders went back up hill to see the view. QM probably still has lambs wool stuck in his chain from the downhill. The homemade technical course was enjoyed especially when DOMINIC decided to jump over PORTALOO on his bike - she thought he was joking.
Everyone finally departed leaving DUDE, CHAMPAGNE, and MURRAY to enjoy their bacon and eggs.
Great weekend DUDE we'd like to see one become a twice yearly thing.
ON ON DOMINIC
Ride #... 126
When.... 6 September 1998 12:00
Meet at. Casino Bar, Station Village - Joint run/ride Geriatrixs 500th
Hare...... SILVER FOX
Scribe.... PORTALOO
(Joint ride with the Port Nicholoson Hash Hash Harriers to help celebrate their 700th run).
For those who got of bed on time I heard this ride was as flat as a pancake. Mind you, for those who went to the Hash Ball (the evening before) this was probably just as well. Saddle went to MADAM, reason unknown, managed to be passed onto DOMONIC as you will find out ....
PORTALOO
Ride #... 125
When.... 23 August 1998
Meet at. Brooklyn Tavern
Hare...... SNOWPLOUGH
Scribe....
Trash yet to be posted.
Ride #... 124
When.... 9 August 1998
Meet at. Aerodrome Pub, Miramar
Hare...... DINKI DI
Scribe.... MOWGLI
For once they started on time and in fine weather, we maybe a little cold ... and windy. But we went on and up our first hill just around the corner, and continued on and up to our first hash halt at the Wellington Prison. Once regrouped and reformed we made our way downwards via a few wrong turns and a carefully placed false trail .. after going over a gate..and needing to consult the map (and when the hare is not on the ride this is a great idea) which put us back on the track, well for a time coming down at the massey memorial (I think) then continued a long the bays taking a hard turn at Petoria Road. And spending some time looking and not finding any markers (checks need a cross in them to be a false trail mark) but in the finding our way along to Churchill Park (yes the map was used again) having a break and a play we went on back on our way, yes that means up along past Fort Dorset (I am not good with places) we went up and down and then up again and, then yes down .... and up again because the last hill was cool? Yet most people were unwilling to go down the first time..wasn't that bad. And along we went up to Beacon Hill which had a good view of the city if your into that sort of thing, and on Beacon Hill Road we continued along till the on-home was seen.
On On Mowgli.
Ride #... 123
When.... 26 July 1998
Meet at. Camp Wainuiomata
Hare...... LOUD & WELLSPREAD
Scribe....
It was over the hill to see Mr Green and to ride the grass inbetween. Where we were told "on on" by SELLIBIT pulling Mister Green's machine.
So it was "on on" to Camp Wainui, where we were met by LOUD and the others, grasping a beer and a cheer from ear to ear.
There had obviously been some consumption of the amber liquid, judging by the kegs loitering around.
Three laps we were told, I was thinking he's mowed the track with his ride on! (lawnmower) to make it obvious and fast for us - but no such luck. It actually had potential, that is until the "unridable" section. BIT OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT!
First back to start finish line, one of our Senior Riders "DRAFTER". Well done, that'll cost ya (fines). The rest of us hashers following on, some taking the odd short cut.
Next: an obstacle course. Ride between the plastic tape was heard. I can't say I heard anyone say ride into that - their tree. But that didn't stop a certain hasher doing just that, (must have been the new tyres!).
Next it was "will he or won't he", as one of our younger fearless hasher's contemplated a drop off and once he realised how easy it was he did it again and agian - Well done QM!
Ride #... 122
When.... 12 July 1998
Meet at. FIREMAN’S WHISTLE, PETONE
Hare...... QM and MOGUL
Scribe.... DUDE
Relaxing at the end of the Hash ride, enjoying a cool drink not worried about your performance over the previous few hours only to hear "and the saddle goes to Dude...." what the ##*!! What did I do? What did I miss that must have been seen by others?
I admit that I have done some seriously questionable actions on previous rides.. and managed to get away relatively unscathed from the actually incident and the post ride prosecutions.
So what was my hideous crime? ...... A bent seat post!!
Get the rope and find the nearest tall tree lets hang him!!
Just my luck to be chosen on the ride when the pickings were thin.
So Hashers get out there have some fun, push the limits and do something stupid (in public) and get the chance to share the privilege of "The Saddle"
Enough said back to the Trash report:
The day was fine and warm, with a group of 24 riders gathering to enjoy what was to be promised to be a flat(ish) 35km ride.
Drafter just couldn’t wait to get going. Demonstrating the his ability in coping with two wheel drifts on flat, shinny, wet surfaces. Ending in a shallow pool, I suppose its good to get it over with early.
Port-a-Loo brought along the youngest Hasher that I have yet seen(sorry QM your title is lost), who she was to spend the first half of the ride confirming that he was still with us. She set a good example of "do as I say ...not as do!" road sense for young Tom to follow but he coped well.
QM commented during the ride that all the alleyways, parks, side streets etc. that he was treating us to were all part of his youthful territories when playing pushbike hide and seek. So for those hashers amongst us that have been driving the Hutt roads for a few years and have had near misses with young cyclist coming out from dark corners - it may have been QM......
Madam not only arriving late, tracking us down using all available technology, then decided to stop and give a demonstration of puncture repair to a group of skateboarders (pity their tyres don’t go flat Madam)
Drafter gave us another demonstration of falling over. This time on a perfectly flat piece of pavement and again in public view.
In and out of some more alleys and walkways, then it was across the Hutt Rd and into the hills in Harbour View and Normandale. Mogul got himself another flat tyre again. Not much sympathy given though as we all sailed past him sensing that the end was near, except for one last quick diversion up into Korokoro, coming down rideable???? tracks.
Back to On On at the Fireman’s Whistle where some tasty pizzas were consumed along with the fines.
Another fun afternoon in good weather...well done QM and Mogul
On On Dude.
Ride #... 121
When.... 28 June 1998
Meet at. Rowing Club, Onepoto Park, Titahi Bay
Hare...... DRAFTER
Scribe....
It was a glorious sunny winters day, when 26 Hash Bikers set off from the Boating Club for a bike ride around Titahi Bay.
The trail led up a hill and along Chaffer St when, damn, blast, F#@***k, the DOM had got a puncture, for the first time in seven years of biking. However with a little help from some others the tire was changed and we were on our way again.
The trail went down Jillet St to Julletts Reserve and then by devious means up some Zig Zag path that went on and on forever, to the top of a hill on the South side of Titahi Bay till we arrived at the Radio Masts on the north side of the bay. It was heer tha REAREND proceeded to give us a demonstration of how one can loop the loop on a bicycle.
Then it was round the coast and back to the boat shed with Dinki Di laging far behind. She was suffering the after effects of a hard night out, or the debilitating effects that cycling can have on aging muscles.
The ON ON was at the Seatcat.
Ride #... 120
When.... 14 June 1998
Meet at. Magills Bar, Thorndon
Hare...... ROPETOW
Scribe.... DRAFTER
Rain drops keep falling on my head, etc etc.
It was pouring down (vertically for a change) during the morning. By lunch time it was still pouring down. At a quarter to One it was pouring down, but at 1 pm at Magills it had stopped. Woohoo!
All the Hash Bikers headed off after SILVERFOX got instructions and a waterproof map from ROPETOW (good planning), and left a few bikers behind who were joining the runners, or were hung over from a Hamilton Bash. After a few metres up the first UP, SELLABIT claimed he had a blow job, or was that blow out, and turned back to join the runners. By the second UP, BARGAIN HUNTER had run out of breath and shortcutted back to see SELLABIT at the Piss Stop, with a gallant NOISY showing her the way. She was surprised by her breathlessness as apparently she*d only had a couple the night before, but usually has more, and hadn*t had much to drink either.
Counting me, this left all two of us to continue the ride, and since the rain had washed all the flour trail markers away we relied on the map for directions. This was harder than it sounds, since not all the tracks were officially marked on the map, and being a couple of guys we weren't about to ask anyone for directions. Come to think of it, there weren*t many other crazy souls out there to ask. Still, we think we covered most of the trail, but apparently we missed the Piss Stop, much to the dismay of SNOWPLOUGH & ROPETOW. These two had carefully planned for the bikers to charge into a subway, which by now was a few feet deep in water, while they waited there with glee. Sorry guys, we missed that bit.
A nice descent down some of the single tracks in the Tinakori Forest was one of the highlights of the ride. The ground was a bit slippery, the roots especially so, and the brakes weren't too hot with wet rims, which made it all the more fun. I must do this again at night some time.
ON ON - DRAFTER ........To get air is human, to land devine.
Ride #... 119
When.... 31 May 1998
Meet at. Bay 66, Kilbirnie
Hare...... SNOWPLOUGH
Scribe.... MADAM
The first problem of the day was finding Bay 66. But the old method of looking for bike racks on cars proved useful. After finding a car park in a very busy area, we did the old sit- around-and-wait-for-the-Hare-to-finish-marking-the-track routine.
Some of us were impatient and started searching for the track. We didn't find it. The Hare turned up and we started off towards Constable Street. We turned left and headed up a hill I've only ever gone down before. It was mentioned at this point that Snowplough *had* marked the course. Enough said.
At the top of this road, we rode up a track we'd only ever come down before. The name of Snowplough was mentioned several times. From here we climbed up another down-track. I think we wound up near Karatane, but my memory is hazy here from oxygen-debt. Fellow hashers claim we wound up near an old hospital (lucky for some). Then we went down to the road and lost the track. After some spinning about near the Zoo, we found the trail and went back up to just above the Hockey Stadium. Then onto the golf course (upon which mountain bikes are not allowed). Then through a bush track to where Whino did this lovely spin and flop onto her back only to thump her head on the ground. No damage done but a good fall nonetheless.
We found ourselves at the north end of the suburb or Island Bay. We headed north to to the Basin Reserve, then Tory Street, then up Vivian Street and then up Mt Victoria to Alexander Road. At this point your Finemaster and Author was at the end of the pack, having waited for other stragglers and sending them on ahead. I caught up with the rest of the group who were nursing a hurt mountain biker. Not one of us, I hasten to add. A girl, about 13 or 14, or so the story goes, was surrounded by helping Hashers, all male of course. Drafter was supporting her, QM was administering first aid. She'd fallen off her bike and twisted her knee. I got out my space blanket as she was getting cold. They used Snowplough's phone but couldn't get through to her parents. The grandparents didn't really know where we were, so we rang an ambulance. They arrived and bundled her off to the hospital.
From here, most of the group headed down to the Velodrome, from there south to come out near Constable St. Then on home to Bay 66. I cycled down Alexander road with the girl's bike, with the aim of dropping it off at her place. Luckily, her parents happened past after being contacted by the grandparents. They took the bike off my hands, and I did the on home routine.
Fines:
Julia: named Bargain Hunter (after Sellabit).
Enema: Bike Virgin (not to mention transparent clothing and a pink bum) - Loud will forever keep that saddle.
Mike: No name yet, but visiting from C2H3.
Elvirus: A Wellington import.
Ropetow: Ride 66 from Bay 66.
Wellspread: Ride 66 from Bay 66.
Whino: Tried to rename herself as Champagne. And did a lovely off.
Loose Cannon was all set to award the saddle to someone, but then she got fined. So he gave it to me. A very feeble excuse.
ONON
Madam
Ride #... 118
When.... 17 May 1998
Meet at. Victoria Tavern Petone, Lower Hutt, Normandale, Belmont Park, Korokoro Stream
Hare...... SELLABIT
Scribe.... LOOSE CANNON
Fines: Who Why BOB for playing ‘chicken’ with a kid - and losing. PAUL because he was a "New tyre" (meaning this was his first Hash ride). PORTALOO for her 50th ride. SELLABIT because he crashed and was disabled while marking the trail. SNOWPLOUGH for his 100th ride (101st actually).
Congratulations to PORTALOO on her 50th ride and to SNOWPLOUGH on passing his 100th.
Ride 118 began at the Victoria Tavern and headed towards The Esplanade. It was here that BOB and a pre-schooler found themselves on the same stretch of path, on bikes (one with training wheels) and heading directly towards each other. Each was grimly determined to hold their line, but it was BOB whose nerve broke first and who swerved off-line to let the other go by. Was that a wry smile I spotted on the kid’s face? Fined, and she was.
The trail continued to wend its way around the streets of Petone and Lower Hutt until suddenly, and inexplicably, coming to an end on the Melling Bridge. Here, scrawled on the ground in chalk, was the cryptic message,. One of our number was able to translate this cipher to mean, "Go to Normandale Bridge". Which we did but found no hint of a trail. It was later that SELLABIT informed us that he had suffered the ignominy of crashing on Melling Bridge while setting the trail and had been unable to continue. Fined, and he was.
Without a marked trail to follow there was some doubt as to which direction to take. Not for QM and MOWGLI, however. These two had prior knowledge of the route and immediately set off at a lick up the Normandale hill. The rest of us, not privy to said knowledge, and having seen the size of the hill, were naturally reluctant to follow. It was at this point that some sought solace at the Victoria Tavern.
Those that applied themselves eventually made it up to Belmont. While waiting for the others to regroup, one intrepid rider continued on up to the summit to take in, what turned out to be, a spectacular view of Wellington harbour and the Hutt valley - and was awarded ‘the saddle’ for his troubles. MACK also made the pilgrimage to the summit but his efforts went unrewarded - in the material sense, at least.
From the top of Normandale the trail led down through Belmont Park and Korokoro Stream. It was while negotiating the stream track that one nameless rider became separated from her bike. It came to rest by the stream below while she lay prostrate in the middle of the track. This form of aberrant behavior could henceforth be referred to as ‘BOBbing’. Fined, and she should have been.
From Korokoro Stream it was On-home to the Victoria Tavern. Drinks were imbibed.
On-on
LOOSE CANNON
Ride #... 117
When.... 3 May 98
Meet at. Pylon Track & Rimutaka Incline
Hare...... LOOSE CANNON
Scribe.... Backslider
UP is the best way to describe ride no. 117. The real piss-off being that with really big ups you would expect really big downs - but no, in case LOOSE CANNON managed to find a ride with long painful ups and just as hard downs!!
The effect of this ride was clearly conveyed by OTTA on Monday morning (we breakfast at the same cafe). Q: "How did you enjoy the ride?" A: "I can't walk."
To fit this "I can't walk" crippling UP meant a 10am start time from the Rimutaka Car Park. So, being Hash time you would expect to ONON about 10:30. God knows how it happened but ABSENT and I, by some mistake, got there at 9:35 with Silver Fox clearly in sight in our rear view mirror. Turned the corner and bugger me, there was BOB and GUTTER (an even bigger mistake in timing!). By 10am we were a dozen - LOOSE CANNON, QM, SILVER FOX, MACK, MOWGLI, DUDE, DRAFTER, ABSENT, BOB, GUTTER, OTTA, and myself. ONON on time (A Hash first?).
Up the Rimutaka Hill Road and a left turn onto a dirt farm road at Kaitoke. Somewhere around this time I noticed PRICKLEBUM had joined the pack!
LOOSE CANNON pointed out our destination - an up to the pylon on top of a nearby Mountain (looked about the height of Mt Cook). Some of us were a little faster than the others on this stretch. But e-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y we all made it to the top. Great views! (Have to say something positive somewhere). We undulated a bit before the longed-for down. The down was steeper (and almost harder) than the up, with a gravely track and lots of corners. QM took a closer look at the one of the corners when he went over his handle bars. The legs were fine but it was so steep my hands ached with braking. GUTTER found this the perfect excuse to massage BOB's hands!.
Featherston - Busters for lunch. MADAM and his bike arrived for part 2 of the ride - chauffeured by Lint in her very new, shinny station wagon. SELLABIT was just along for the ride - no bike in site. (SELLABIT must be due for a fine)
A flat ride to the start of the incline - flat with strong gusty winds. I drafted behind DRAFTER, SLIVER FOX, DUDE, QM, MAC, MADAM. (Whoever I could fight to try and keep up with for five minutes!!). Too bloody fast the lot of them.
Exhausted after the flat I now had the last up of the day to complete. Met some of the exhausted Hashers who had come over the incline to return with us. Did any of them help me pedal? No!
The tunnels were an added danger. A special type of "trip" in themselves in that they are quite disorientating, head spinning stuff. I thought I was by the wall and put my hand out - no wall, over I went.
We met the rest of the HASHERS at the top of the incline and it was a cycle back to the cars. DRAFTER, MACK, and someone else still had too much energy and returned via the ridge. DRAFTER in front. Not the best place to be as he found all the unexpected holes first and had the bleeding knees and elbows for this efforts (next time make MACK go first!)
FINES - can't remember.
ON ON
Backslider
